Waltzing With Fear In Their Hearts
by Darling Pretty
Summary: Inspired by part of the song Secondary Waltz. At another fancy dress party, both Addison and Alex are miserable alone, but at least they're comfortable. Too bad they've got such nosy friends. ADDEX. Set a little after the supply closet.


**So I was listening to the eighty gajillion Mark Knopfler CDs my dad has and I was listening to "Secondary Waltz". I was inspired by one lyric from the chorus "waltzing with fear in our hearts" and this is what came of that inspiration. Hope you like it!**

**By the way, don't know if you noticed, but I've got a new pen name. What can I say? I got bored. But don't worry, it's the same old Juli.**

**Unless someone's got a genie for me to borrow, then Grey's Anatomy won't be mine any time soon.**

_Stupid party, _Addison thinks. She can't figure out ythggfvfbwhy Seattle Grace has such a fascination with black tie events, but she finds herself at yet another Prom-like event. Only this time she has no date, there's ballroom dancing, and to top it all off, she's stuck on the sidelines of the dance floor. Not that she'd particularly want to dance tonight. One, she's not in the mood. And two, she's never been that big of a ballroom dance fan. She'll do it, and every once in a while, when she's in precisely the right mood and she has the right partner, she enjoys it, but for the most part she's not exactly an enthusiast. But being stuck on the sidelines is more than just missing out on the exercise. It means she has no one to dance with. And that just sucks. Mark offered once, but he had that look in his eye, the one she knows to look out for. That look was the one that ended her marriage, and she tries to stay away from it as much as possible. Besides, if she's totally honest, there's only one person she wants to dance with tonight, and he sure as hell isn't going to ask her. She doesn't even know if he _can _dance. Even if he can, Alex Karev as a dance partner is simply out of the question.

0ooo0

_Stupid party,_ Alex sulks. He hates these things with a passion. He hates getting dressed up, he hates dancing, and he hates how everything is so fake. Everyone's trying to act like they like each other, when really they're all wishing for everyone else's gruesome demise. Besides, he's so not in the mood for all of this.

He sits alone at a table, gazing across the room. He doesn't admit it, not even to himself, but he's not exactly gazing. It's more like staring, and his stare-gaze is settled on a certain redheaded attending whose heart he may or may not have just recently crushed. Better that she thinks he hates her, rather than the truth. Because if she knew truth, that he loves her, well, that would just be a huge disaster. He's rather perfected the art of not letting her know, though, so it's okay.

He tries not to sigh as Izzie plops down in the seat next to him. She was just dancing with Sloan and she's flushed, although whether from exertion or excitement he can't tell. "Who are we looking at?" she asks.

"No one," he replies quickly.

"Liar," she says.

"Have fun with Sloan?" he changes the subject.

Her cheeks get slightly redder. "I… he's okay. Not a great dancer, not like you."

"Oh yeah? When have you ever seen me dance?"

"I haven't. I'm just guessing that you're good, just because. Hey, you should prove it."

"I'm not dancing with you, Iz," he replies. "Go dance with Sloan some more."

"I wasn't saying you should dance with me; I'm taking a break," Izzie says. "I was thinking more along the lines of a tall, leggy, redheaded neonatal surgeon. I've heard they make excellent dance partners."

"Oh yeah? From who?"

"From a semi-reliable source, who may or may not be decent at ballroom dancing and is in the room right now. Although, with him, I can't be too sure if this is the kind of dancing he's talking about…"

Alex knows that she said that just to see how he'd react. And as much as he tries to fight his reaction, he can't help but tense up at the thought of Sloan's hands on Addison. He can see Izzie trying to hide a grin, but she's not doing a great job of it. Izzie gets up as she sees Sloan walking towards them. "Ask her to dance," she orders, and then walks towards her dance partner.

0ooo0

Addison pretends to watch the dancers on the floor, but she's really watching Alex talk to Izzie. She can't help but feel a little jealous, seeing their easy banter. She sees Izzie attempt to hide a smile and waits for them to abandon the proceedings in favor of an empty on-call room. She grits her teeth in an attempt to keep the knot in her throat to a minimal.

Callie walks away from the group she had been talking to, a smile on her face. She sits down next to Addison. "What are we watching?" she asks.

"The dancing," Addison replies.

"Liar. I think you're watching a certain intern."

"Shh!" Addison hisses. "Besides, he's the help, Callie, and I will not be sleeping with the help. Even if he wanted to." She looks down as she says the last part, playing with the purple silk of her dress. "Which he doesn't, so don't get any ideas."

"What are you talking about?"

"He hates me. But whatever. It's not like it matters."

Callie laughs. After a couple of minutes of Addison demanding to know just what is so funny, she responds, "If he hates you, then I would hate to see how disgustingly sweet he would act if he loved you."

"What?"

"Come on, Addison, he acts like your own personal slave. He gets you coffee, he stays late with you, he acts like he's freaking in love with you. You should ask him to dance."

"What?!" Addison exclaims.

"Ask him to dance."

"Okay, one, how did we get from him hating me to me asking him to dance? And two, hello, inappropriate much?"

"How is it inappropriate?" Callie demands.

"I'm his boss… and… and…"

"And you're afraid you'll end up screwing him if you do," Callie finishes.

"Callie!" Addison cries, shooting her a look.

"You didn't deny it, I'm right," Callie announces. Then she gets up and walks away before Addison can reply. She turns around and orders, "Ask him to dance!"

Addison rolls her eyes and stays where she is.

0ooo0

He rolls his eyes as Meredith sits down in the chair that Izzie only recently vacated. "You're staring," she announces.

"No I'm not," he denies.

"You so are. What are you staring at?" She follows his line of vision straight to the table where Addison and Callie are sitting. "Oh." She drags out the syllable so it's got about eleven sub-syllables. It's obviously meant to convey understanding. "I get it now." Alex sighs and slumps in his chair, hoping she'll take the hint and go away. No such luck. "Not a bad view from here," she comments mildly.

"Mer, seriously, stop it before I stab you with my fork."

She doesn't pay attention to his threat. "Well, I'm pretty sure you don't have the hots for George's wife, unless you're _really _good at hiding it, so that only leaves one person at that table."

"Mer, I swear to God, I'll stab you."

"We're in a room full of doctors, I'm pretty sure that I'll be okay. You should ask her to dance."

Alex rolls his eyes. "I'm not asking her to dance."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Derek says she's a really good dancer," Meredith says in a sing-songy voice, clearly meant to be tantalizing.

"I don't care," he replies.

"Oh, come on, just one dance," she wheedles.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because. You're miserable, and I don't like to see you miserable. And she's miserable, and she seems nice-ish. Neither of you deserve to be miserable alone. You should be miserable together."

"Well, when you put it that way…" he says sarcastically.

"Alex, I've seen the way you look at her. You're freaking in love with her. If you're not going to ask her to dance, I'll ask her for you. We'll pretend we're back in sixth grade again." Alex doesn't say anything. "Oh, come on," Meredith says. "Just do it. You're going to have to spend the rest of your life wondering, if you don't," she points out. "Besides, I've seen the way she looks at you, too. I've never seen anybody look at you like that, Alex. Not even Izzie. I just… I don't think you should give that up." She gets up to leave.

"I'll think about it," he tells her.

She smiles. "That's all I ask."

0ooo0

Addison barely notices as Miranda sits down next to her. "Some party," Miranda comments.

"Yeah," Addison replies without any feeling.

"You staring at Karev again?" Miranda asks.

That gets Addison's attention. Her head whips to look at Miranda as she asks, "What?"

"You've been staring at Karev on and off now for about a couple of months now. If you're going to sleep with him, could you please just get it over with?"

Addison laughs nervously. "Um, what?"

"He's distracted because you're looking at him, and that distracts me because I have to discipline him. I've resigned myself to the fact that you're eventually going to sleep together, so I'm just asking you to get it over with."

"I… What?"

"Look, Addison. I'm just going to tell you what I see, and you may not like it, but it's what I see. I see a man in love with a woman, and I see that woman in love with that man. And I see that they're both miserable alone. So, if you want my opinion, that woman should go across the dance floor and ask her man to dance." Addison's shocked into silence. "You deserve to be happy," Miranda continues. "And I think that once you get past that damaged surface, you're going to find that Karev's the man who's going to do that."

"I- I don't know."

"Addison," Miranda says. "Just ask him to dance. He's going to say yes."

"I- I don't know if he can dance."

Miranda smiles. "I'll bet you he can. You just have to put yourself out there."

"I did," Addison admits. "I mean, not tonight, but a couple of weeks ago. I kissed him. He yelled at me later. I don't… I was so embarrassed. I don't want to go through that again."

"Addison, I'll personally see to it that his life goes to hell if he does it again, but, if you want to know what I think, he was lying."

"Maybe, Miranda. Maybe," Addison agrees. She smiles. "Thank you."

Miranda smiles back. "Any time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my husband and my very cranky child."

She leaves Addison with a slight smile on her face.

0ooo0

Over the next half an hour, they sort of drift towards each other. Neither of them will admit that they're heading that way, but they really are. Finally they find themselves face to face. Addison speaks first. "Karev, I was just… I was, um…" she stutters.

"Do you want to dance?" he asks.

"Uh, sure." They take to the dance floor right as the band strikes up a waltz. "You waltz?" Addison asks as they begin to dance.

"Yeah," he says. When he sees a slight smile playing at her lips he asks, "What?"

"Just the thought of you knowing how to ballroom dance," she answers.

"One of the few things my mom ever taught me," he informs her. "She seemed to think it was incredibly important."

"Oh." They fall silent, each terrified of saying something wrong. Addison looks over his shoulder to see Callie grinning on the side of the dance floor.

He eventually breaks the silence. "You know, this is probably the first time I've ever been glad my mom taught me," he says.

She looks him in the eye and smiles nervously. "Thanks. I'm assuming that was a compliment."

"It was."

They fall silent again. Addison starts freaking out. What if Callie and Miranda were right? Is she in love? Is he in love? Are they in love? The thought both excites and terrifies. It's a scary thought, being in love again. And it's an even scarier thought that he might not feel the same way. "Why'd you do it?" she asks.

She doesn't have to say what she's talking about, he automatically knows that she's talking about the supply closet. He stays quiet for a moment, mulling over his answer. He finally decides to go for the half-truth. "To protect you," he says.

She laughs quietly. "To protect me? From what?" He looks away. "From you?" she asks softly. He doesn't say anything. "Why?"

He doesn't answer for a while. Eventually he answers her question. No point in lying now. He's been sucked too far into her eyes. "My dad was… he wasn't fit to be a dad. He really wasn't fit to live, honestly. He… he hit my mom. If I… ever… touched you like that… I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I don't want to do that to you."

With some difficulty, she catches his eye. "You're not your dad, Alex. You're… you're… I don't know. You're funny and smart and… you're dad never saved a preemie, did he? You're a surgeon. You're already so much better than he ever was. You've already transcended him. You wouldn't ever hit me, or any woman, I know it. I can tell."

By this point they've stopped dancing, choosing, instead, to stand in the way of the dancers on the floor. She takes a tentative step towards him. "I have so much faith in you, Alex Karev, it's not even funny," she says. "And I think that, if you're not going to be a total jerk about it tomorrow and yell at me in a supply closet, of all places, you should really kiss me right about now."

He laughs and takes a step towards her. She holds up a hand. "Are you going to be a total jerk about it tomorrow? Because if you are, I've got an escape route all mapped out. I've even figured out how to get past you should you drag me into a supply closet again."

He laughs again. "I won't be a total jerk about it," he promises. Then he closes the distance between them.

"Um, hi," Sydney taps Addison on the shoulder. "That's very sweet and all, and I'm thrilled for you, but, um, the thing is, you're kind of getting in the way of all of us who are trying to waltz here. So, um, if you could keep dancing or, you know, skedaddle, that'd be great."

Addison laughs and looks at Alex. "We'll keep dancing," she announces. They pick up the beat again, and continue their waltz, only this time with the weight of fear lifted from their shoulders.

**Well, did you like it?**

**-Juli-**


End file.
